"Okay, well, that's not everything," I admitted, "but not out here, you know? Not on the floor..." Oh. Okay." Frieda got it. "On break?" Sure."So we worked through to the two o'clock break, then went out to my car for some privacy. Once we were settled, Frieda said, "Okay, I've been good -- gimme!" Well, as far as it went, I told you the whole front end," I told her, "more or less as it happened. Jack DID take me home afterward, but I brought him in with me." No way!" Frieda's eyes bugged."Way!" I insisted. "Momma had waited up, too!" Omigod!" Frieda gasped, "How did THAT go?" Really strange," I told her. "Momma was ... subdued. She asked Jack a couple of questions and then she announced that she was going to bed!" NO FUCKIN' WAY!" Frieda erupted. She nearly broke my eardrums -- which is why we were NOT having this conversation in the store!"Way!" I insisted again. "That's how it happened!"Frieda considered this. "Well, I DID let your momma have it for crawling all over the first guy. Some crazywoman. What do I do?"Allen hadn't really woken up when he got this unexpected news. He wasskeptical."What? Are you sure? That doesn't sound right. Let me get some coffee,son, and then we'll talk." NO, WE NEED TO TALK NOW! She's inside my house! She's stalking me.She's outside my bathroom door. I think she's leaning against it rightnow. Come over here and help me!"They both heard her voice outside the door. "LET ME LOVE YOU, DOUG! LETME SHOW MY GRATITUDE FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!" That does sound unfortunate. We are in a bit of a pickle, aren't we?"said Allen. There was a pause. "How ... how does her skin look?" Flawless." Great! Don't dwell on the negatives, that's what I always say. I'll beright over, we'll sort this out." The phone went dead."Mr. Lambert?" said Doug hesitatingly."Yes, my dear!" said the former Mr. Lambert, who was leaning against thebathroom door, breathing heavily."What will your wife say? She's going to kill me!" No, my soul mate. .
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